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It’s interesting to me that we often think that we have no choice.  “He makes me so mad” we say, rather than “he behaves badly and I choose to hold on to the anger that causes.”  OK, it’s not as emotional – but it is valid.  We may not choose our initial reactions, but we choose our long term emotions.

Here’s some proof…

Have you ever had a day when you look back on it and say something like “I should not have been that angry with her” or “I really was too hard on him”?  Just this thought says that you have some control over those emotions that you expressed.  Now we may rationalize it away with “well she brings out the worst in me” or “he was really arrogant” or other such nonsense, but the reality is out in the open with that first thought and nothing that we can pile on top of it will change it in any way.  Thus, if we can realize that we emotionally over-reacted, it logically follows that we can control that reaction, and if we have control then we can choose to control ourselves or not.  It’s that simple.

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I’ve been thinking lately that life calls “no do-overs” on me every day.  When we were kids, someone would make a horrible shot on the pool table or something and immediately call “do over”.  But even then, some of the billiard balls would have moved and while you could claim a free turn, you never really got to do it over.

Life is like that.  You can’t go back.  Even if you get to do something over – to re-work something where you made a mistake – you never really can undo completely what you did.  Even a mulligan on the golf course costs you something.

OK, enough sports analogies.

It’s just my thought for the day – if you’re going to do something, don’t just do it “by default”.  Be there, pay attention, give of yourself and make it as good as it can be.  It doesn’t matter if it’s an ice cream sundae or raising a child.  If you’re going to be involved, be involved.  Don’t just drift your way through it without paying attention.  You won’t get a do-over.

One of the funniest (well, really the saddest) things I have seen in this economic downturn is people who are giving up.  They have been in business successfully for years, and they have made money, but with all the bad news out there, they are giving up what made them great.  They are essentially outsourcing their focus.  They are doing it with the best of intentions, but almost invariably it spells destruction.

What do I mean?  Well, in theory at least, when you start a new business, you do it because you have some unique element that gives you a competitive advantage somewhere or somehow.  Maybe you cater to a certain market segment, or to an age group, or a geographical area.  Maybe your product is faster but more expensive than others and you cater to customers who are not worried about spending more to get the extra performance.  Maybe your product is bigger than your competitor’s and you focus on people who want a bigger, more durable widget.  Maybe your store is closer to a certain neighborhood and you focus on building relationships with people in that area.  Whatever it is, you went into business with some sort of focus.  Over the years, that may change as market conditions change, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  Giving up what made you unique, however, should never be done out of fear.

The problem in “the worst blah blah blah since the great flood” (or whatever the media pundits call it today) is that people believe what they hear and then they panic.  They start to lose their focus or worse yet, they outsource it entirely – (more…)

Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn – names that many people have come to know and loathe or love over the last few years. But the question should always be asked, are these sites just a way to waste time, or are they a new tool that changes the game entirely. The answer … yes.

So what makes Facebook such a hit? Why is everyone talking about LinkedIn?  Why is the President tweeting?  It’s all about being “social” – the ability to easily interact with others virtually.  On Facebook I have reconnected with friends from high school.  On LinkedIn I talk to colleagues and business associates from ten years ago and from 10 days ago.  I put the mundane and the profound online and get comments and connections from all sorts of people.  But is it valuable?

Let’s look at it from three perspectives…

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